C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L P-A-L-S-Y: How I Spell Acceptance.

From a very young age, I knew that Cerebral Palsy is a permanent reality. It is something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. One of the things that hasn’t always been easy to accept though is how it makes me appear different from those around me. At first glance, it is obvious that I have some physical limitations. My wheelchair is a dead give away… I mean, come on, it is pretty badass! It would be the first thing I notice, too.

For a long time though, it affected me mentally. It made me self-conscious. It caused me to become consumed with the way that I look. It made me wonder what people think when they see all of the devices I have to use to get around. It made me question and doubt my capabilities; so much so that I did everything in my power to minimize my disability. I wore jeans to hide my AFOS (leg braces). I would deliberately ditch my wheelchair and choose to use my walker or crutches instead in an attempt to look “ normal”, even if I was exhausted. And I would downplay my internal struggles by masking my true feelings with a smile- all because I didn’t want to be looked at differently. I still don't.

One of the beautiful things about my journey is the connections I have formed with friends and strangers who are living with similar challenges, which has helped to realize that all human beings are unique. Not a single one of us the same. However, I do know that at some point in life, we have all wrestled and battled with self- confidence issues. This is what has helped to accept the challenges associated with CP.

While I am fully aware of the fact that my devices and equipment make me appear different from others, they have so many benefits and without them, there is no way that I would be able to live my life in the capacity that I do. My wheelchair does not make me “ disabled” or my favourite, “ handicapped.” My wheelchair is my legs. While I love walking with my crutches or my walker, sometimes my wheelchair is a more practical option. It maximizes my freedom. It allows me to have choices. It makes me feel free and independent, which is all anyone could ever want. These days, you’ll often find me wearing my braces over my jeans or leggings. I have grown to think of them as more of a fashion statement, rather than an ugly piece of plastic with some screws and Velcro straps. I was sick and tired of compromising my clothing options, because I felt a need to conceal them

Before sitting down to write this blog post, I thought a lot about the definition for the word: acceptance. C-E-R-E-B-R- A-L P-A-L-S-Y is how I define and spell acceptance. I know as well as anyone that acceptance can be an extremely difficult concept to grasp, and I don’t think that it is a skill that we can ever completely master. It’s a daily struggle. There are new components of our life to accept all the time. There is no point in hanging onto negative emotional attachments, because they ultimately hinder us from enjoying life and doing what makes us happy.

And, YOU deserve happiness!

Just be yourself.