Beautiful Crazy.

As I sit down to write this, I can hear the soft hum of my furnace, and the whistling of the wind as it blows outside of my dining room window. Everything seems so still. But I don’t feel still inside. I am sure that all of my readers can relate when I say that adulting sucks sometimes. Between all of the health complications I have experienced over the last seven and a half months, the plans I have to solidify before my surgery, and witnessing the emotions of fear, sadness and anger of the people I love most, I am feeling overwhelmed.

Every time I write a blog, I pull out my phone and put my ITunes music on shuffle, and I let the music flow through my cell phone speakers back to me as I type. A song called, “ You Hold It All Together plays. The storm within me slowly begins to calm as I hear the lyrics of this song, and I am reminded of what is really important. I know that when faced with adversity, it’s natural to feel all of these things and have early morning breakdowns with your Mom sometimes. This was me today. However, it is because of my faith that I can have a good cry, feel my emotions and wheel forward.

Just the other day, a friend of mine who I have known for many years picked me up from a doctor’s appointment, drove me home, and before he opened the door so I could get in, he said “ I don’t know how you do it”. I smiled and said, “Everything is going to be okay.”

Everything is going to be okay, because I have a wonderful family, amazing friends and a God who loves me very much.

Earlier this week, one of my best friends suggested that rather than looking at this whole experience as something I have to deal with, try looking at it as something I get to deal with. As hard as life can be sometimes, this was a great reminder to keep my stick on the ice and refocus my mental energy on all of the blessings in my life, and all of the lessons I have learned while wheeling along this crooked path. If you’re reading this, you know who you are. Thank you.

Throughout my life, God has helped me to realize the importance of empathy, resiliency, perseverance, love and laughter; gifts that I know I wouldn’t have witnessed or experienced had it not been for all of the challenges and triumphs on this beautiful, crazy journey.

When I look at things from this angle, I have nothing to be upset about.