What I Know For Sure.

“Faith is an unquestioning belief.”

- Ronald Hopfer

When I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy at fourteen months of age, there were a lot of unknowns.“ God never gives you more than you can handle” is a phrase my family and I have heard countless times. Although I know that people have meant it as a source of comfort and reassurance, I would be lying if I said that these words didn’t evoke anger inside of me from time to time - not because I don’t believe it, but because sometimes, in those moments of frustration, uncertainty and sadness, it is too much to handle.

In my last blog post, I talked briefly about the words that people use to describe me; how I often get told how strong I am to deal with the physical challenges I do every day. My friends, that has nothing to do with me. I refuse to take the credit for that, because I truly believe that it comes from God. Upon reflection, this adds a whole new meaning to that infamous phrase. To me, it doesn’t mean that I will never given more than I can handle. It does not mean that I won’t have moments where I break down and cry because the anxiety of not knowing what is around the next corner is all too much. It doesn’t mean that the realities of life will not bring pain and frustration. It does not mean that I won’t have fears. For me, it means that I do not and will not ever have to walk this journey alone. Every day, God reminds me of this promise through His love, but also through the outpour of love, support and encouragement from my incredible brigade of family and friends, who are always there to lend a helping hand when I need it.

When I was growing up, I remember thinking that if God loves me, why did He choose to give me Cerebral Palsy? I don’t have an answer for that, and I am not sure if I ever will. However, here is what I know for certain. I know that through all the pain and all the suffering, I have learned more than I think I ever would have if He had chosen to write the chapters of my journey differently. My crooked journey has and continues to teach me so many amazing things. It has taught me to appreciate the small things, to live life for the miracle that it is, because it’s so fragile and it can change at any moment. It has taught me to love with everything that I have, because God has seen me through all of the challenges and triumphs in my life.

I don’t know what the next chapter of my journey reads, but I know that by the grace of God, everything will be okay.