You Are Not Inadequate; You're Human.

“ Fear: I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still your suggestions will NEVER be followed. You are allowed to have to have a seat. You are allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you are not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear and familiar friend, you are absolutely FORBIDDEN to drive.”

- Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic.

As I sit on my bedroom floor with my electric blanket draped over my lower extremities and sip on my second cup of coffee, I feel peaceful. In my previous blog post, I spent some time talking about how sometimes; the daily stresses of adulthood can leave us feeling overwhelmed or inadequate. Fear is a natural part of the human experience. I have always been really hard on myself. In some ways, I believe that this has been beneficial, because it is an integral part of what has motivated me to keep wheeling forward and achieve the goals I have set for myself. On the other hand though, there have also been times where that high standard that I hold myself to has come back to bite me in the ass, making me feel like a shitty, inadequate human, who is not or doesn’t have anything substantial to offer the big and beautiful world we live in. Looking back, my feelings of inadequacy originate from being cognisant of the fact that I have a physical disability and because of that, I appear and move differently than most people.

There are many aspects of my life that are different from most other adults. Everyday, I deal with pain and muscle spasms and a host of other medical complications related to my condition. There are days where I am on the phone for hours with the government and health agencies making sure that I get the equipment I need to achieve the maximum level of independence possible. I have hired caregivers, because I know that I cannot look after my physical needs on my own. Sometimes, being an adult sucks. Plain and simple. Throughout my life, there has been many instances where I have found myself wondering what it would be like to live life in someone else’s body. What would life without Cerebral Palsy look like? I don’t know. I can’t answer that, because it is not the path that I was meant to wheel.

Here is what I do know:

I know that everyone has his or her own challenges. I know that life is frustrating, uncertain, scary and wonderful. All at once. And I know that regardless of the paths we are on, we have all experienced that familiar fear of feeling inadequate. So, here is what I challenge you to think about today. What if just being you is good enough?

You are not inadequate. You’re human.